Laughter is My Response

I've been so busy that I don't really remember feeling Isaiah much this week.  Is he as tired as me?  Poor little baby boy...  Well at least we're both getting a good work out! 

And at least I've got something to do.  That's definitely a good sign for the business.  I've been very blessed. 

That's not to say it's been easy.  Oh no, nowhere near easy.  In fact, now when something goes wrong, or takes too long or doesn't go at all, I just laugh.  And then I try & figure out how to overcome it or go a different way. 

An example? 

I tried to open a bank account & I got assigned the slowest representative that worked at the bank.  When she finally was done going through the application & verifying all of my information (probably 4-5 days), she informed me my company wasn't in good standing with the secretary of state. 

It wasn't in good standing because I didn't file a franchise tax report that you are supposed to file every year even though your business may or may not have an revenue. 

I filed that & eventually got the slowest rep at the bank to finally open my account. 

Time to open an account to be able to process credit cards. 

Well when that 2-3 day long process of going through the application was done, I found out that... 

You have to have good credit to accept credit.  I had no idea.  And my credit isn't exactly what you would label "good."  "Very poor" would probably be a better description. 

It was good, until I started a debt management program to pay off my credit card debt.  And despite many assurances by many people that my credit would be fine, it is no longer good, or fine, it is very poor.  So I've been spending all week trying different companies & trying to conjure an alternative.  There is a glimmer of hope. 

That is an example of a very long process of multiple things going wrong, all leading to things that will eventually lead to a solution.  It's funny.  It's funny like catering is funny.  So many things go wrong.  You can't stress out, you just have to figure out how to fix them. 

Both things, they're like puzzles.  The end result, the established business or the produced event can't just appear.  The pieces have to be put together, one by one, some easy, some ridiculously hard.  And the picture at the end is much more fulfilling when you struggled with putting the pieces of it together. 

Another giggle because Isaiah is moving now. 

Oh Lots of Stuff

I got up at about 5:30 this morning, and I feel great.  I should do this more often.  Maybe not necessarily 5:30 but I need to get up when I'm not sleepy anymore.  I tend to sleep in longer out of habit or because Marcus is still sleeping.  I hope this refreshed feeling sustains long enough to keep me from sleeping in. 

So many different things are going on in my life right now, I think I need to separate them with sections...  I need to figure out how to do that in my mind.

School

I've got 2 or 3 eight week terms left before I get my MBA.  I haven't really loved the program; I've been holding on to it for awhile hoping that I would get something out of it eventually.  Now I'm only holding on because I'm close to finishing.  And if I quit, I start having to pay student loans back. 

I enjoyed this last course I just finished a few days ago.  But it was also the most difficult.  I was hoping I would get a little slack from the next one, you know since I'll be taking it during the last months of pregnancy.  Nope!  It will be the most difficult & the most uninteresting, inapplicable to my life. 

But I can do it right? 

Money Money Money

I got a speeding ticket last week, leaving an interview for a job that didn't hire me.  I think it was a sign.  An expensive sign.  I was going 2 miles over the limit where you can take defensive driving to release it from record.  A $300 sign. 

I was continuing to stay positive about the future.  But as the days passed, and more bills kept creeping up on us, the more I wondered how & when it would all work out.  It would worry me the most when baby stuff would come up, all of the things we need but haven't purchased yet. 

My former employer offered to pay me minimum wage for two weeks in gratitude for my loyalty to them.  Half of what I would make from unemployment.  I declined the offer.  Evidently my loyalty wasn't worth much. 

My mom & dad called at 2 different times to see how I was doing, but I didn't answer because I didn't want them worrying about me.

And then...  Four things I've been working on suddenly paid off.  Right on time.  It was so incredible, I could barely contain myself.

Then I called my mom & dad back. 

The Business

Writing a business plan.  Filing for tax permits.  Returning my LLC into good standing with the Secretary of State because apparently I was supposed to file taxes even though I never used the LLC two years ago.  Arranging logo design.  Getting funding.  Obtaining insurance quotes.  Getting Bank of America to approve the business checking account, but only after they talk to my partners that never answer their phones that were originally on the LLC two years ago and only after I get back in good standing with the Secretary of State.  Figuring out the things I need a lawyer for and things I can get away with doing on my own for now.  And then...  More importantly, establishing & building relationships with potential clients & vendors.

Lots of work.  But it's already starting to pay off. 

The Pregnancy

We've been going to childbirth classes the past few weeks.  Apparently it's a little early for that, but that's okay, less for me to worry about the last few months.  There are 4 other couples in the class with about the same due date with the same midwife.  Everyone says it will magically work out.  I definitely hope that is the case.  Marcus feels a little more comfortable with the idea of home birth now that he saw a bunch of other dads in the class.  It is neat to to be around people going through the same things we are. And it's also cool to see other women as far along as me, to compare bellies.  Only in my mind of course.  Let's just say it makes me feel that I'm growing normally. 

Isaiah has an odd movement schedule. Some days he moves around a lot.  Some days he doesn't.  Most days he doesnt.  He usually doesn't move much when I'm moving, and maybe he moves a little more when I'm laying down to go to bed.  But that's all.  I hear some women talk about knowing when their baby is going to sleep & wake up, knowing their schedule already & what they're doing at all times.  Not me & Isaiah, not yet. 

Sleep can be a little rough sometimes.  Marcus is great here because he will support my back when needed or turn me over when I accidentally start sleeping on my back. 

Again, no nesting yet.  I did think about the colors in his room though, how I could make it work so it would be fitting for him and for my future stepson when he stays with us. 

I got some stretch marks.  I was skimping a little bit on my belly cream because it's expensive.  Guess that was a bad idea.  Oh well...  I'll take some for the team. 

And about my size...  Even though I was comparing my belly size to other mommies, I decided recently that I don't really care.  I can't change anything about my size right now other than eat healthy & remain active & do my labor exercises.  So I'm just gonna do those things & stop worrying about how big I am. 

So this is how big I am!!!!  7 months along. 

I think I look smaller in this one.

But I think I like my face better in this one. 

I Got Some Money Cause I Just Got Paid

Not really.  Cause I lost my job this week.  Four years of working for the same company, the longest I’ve ever worked for anyone, is over. 

I’m trying not to freak out.  I promised Isaiah that I wouldn’t.  That I would remain positive for him. 

But I’m a little glad that I can freak out internally, without my heart beating faster, without my breath getting shorter, without any physical symptoms of the freakout (that I know of).  Because I think I need to freak out a little right now. 

We were already having difficulty.  And now, well, I don’t know how we’re going to pay our bills, much less buy things for our little one’s arrival.  I hear lots of stories of moms getting everything ready around this time.  I have nothing. 

I tried to get another job within our company.  No one needs anyone.  And I don’t want to look outside of the company because I don’t think I would be a good candidate to be a waitress 2 1/2 months before I’m supposed to give birth. 

But that’s all for the negative comments.  I hate whining. 

See, I know everything is going to work out.  Somehow, it will all be fine.  My bills (the ones that are required to keep my electricity & water on) will be paid.  And my baby will have clothes and diapers and a place to sleep. 

Marcus’s job is beginning to get better, and this week he was approached by a recruiter for a job in home health marketing.  A year ago, I would have told him to refuse this offer of a stable benefit providing job because it doesn’t fit into his long term goals.  But now, I welcome anything that can be put in the same sentence with stable & steady, consistent & dependable. 

As for me, I will be filing unemployment for the first time in my life and finally pursuing the entrepreneurial aspirations of mine.  Maybe not the best time for this in many people’s eyes.  But when is the best time?  After I give birth, when I can’t afford childcare?  Six months after? 

Maybe the best time is when there is nothing else I can do. 

We shall see.  In my eyes it is the most promising option. 

That Pregnant Waitress

I've been in the restaurant business for many years.  Seven or eight probably.  My first jobs were in other industries.  Movie theater concession stand girl.  Video store girl.  Gas station attendant.  Radio host.  Then following in my big sister's footsteps, I began my restaurant career in Mississippi shortly after high school.  Then I was a college student while being a cell phone call center girl.  Then a bilingual mortgage service counselor.  Then I re-entered the restaurant world where I have been since. 

But last April I stopped waiting tables.  I had started a catering division of my restaurant several months previous to that, and I was able to build it to a point where it was supporting me.  Marcus also had a great job, and he lived with his parents.  We had no problem (most of the time) paying the bills. 

Then we got pregnant.  And then Marcus got laid off.  Christmas came shortly after that.  Then my lease ended, and we moved in together. 

So what did we both do?  What any former server should do when they need extra money.  Wait tables. 

Marcus started at a new restaurant.  He's been there several weeks, but he's still working his way through the new people & new people sections & new people money. 

I should have started again long ago, a few shifts here & there.  Instead I waited until it was absolutely necessary.  I had to swallow some pride because most would consider me a manager now.  I am their boss on several occasions.  It was a little difficult taking that step back in, but that’s what mommies do right? 

So I picked up six shifts in four days.  Like the old days when I worked 12 shifts a week.  Here's lesson number one for pregnant girls, don't EVER work six shifts in four days.  Don't ever work a double.  Even if you need the money.  Because you will be useless halfway into the second part of it & even more useless the next day. 

I remember my feet this hurting this much before, but only after working 12 shifts in a row, running up & down the two story restaurant throughout the shift, and then drinking (lots of alcohol) every night.  They probably still hurt worse this time.  I think once I really did feel like I was going to fall over, toes cramping.  My butt hurt.  My calves hurt.  This muscle in my lower back that I didn't know existed hurt. 

Well and then I made it worse.  Going to the bathroom is difficult when you have an apron on over pregnant pants with an undershirt to cover the pregnant pants & to keep your pregnant boobs from popping out.  So for my own sanity & to maintain the happiness of my guests, I chose not to drink as much water as I normally do.  Bad idea.  Apparently not being hydrated makes you function even worse and causes varicose veins.  Lesson number two:  regardless of how much you have to pee, stay hydrated.  Develop good communication with coworkers so they know to watch your people while you're in the bathroom for the 24th time. 

The third lesson I learned:  sit down a lot.  The first day I probably sat down twice because I thought walking around would be better.  But then a girl who had recently had a baby after waiting tables her entire pregnancy told me this was very bad.  I forgot why. 

Fourth lesson (no one had to tell me this one):  eat right before your shift, and bring a Luna bar or something nutritious & easy to snack on because who knows when you will get a chance to eat again. 

Another lesson:  write everything down.  I used to go an entire night without writing anything down.  Your brain is probably not functioning as it used to, so you shouldn't trust it.  I'm surprised I didn't make a thousand mistakes.

Lesson number six:  be prepared for people to refer to you as that pregant waitress.  Even if you tell them your name.  Also don't be surprised if an inebriated woman looks up at you and shocked yells, "Oh my god, she's pregnant!"

Since that six shift weekend I have picked up a few shifts here and there, and I have managed to not break any of these new rules.  Except for Valentine's Day, when we were so busy, I couldn't stop to drink water or sit down or eat a snack.  I had to pee for the entire 6 hours of the shift.  But since I followed rule number one (no double), I was able to manage the pain until the end. 

And the final lesson:  if you're having trouble sleeping, wait tables.  Because after every night of working, the unbearable exhaustion leads to the best deepest sleep ever. 

What about you?  Anyone do the restaurant thing, or something similar, while pregnant?  What lessons did you learn?