Milk in a Bottle

I don't see my son drink out of a bottle very much.  So the other day when he was not only holding the bottle by himself, but he was taking it out of his mouth AND putting it back in, I was thrilled.  I took pictures & a video & sent them to Marcus.  He said he's been doing that for many months now. 

Why was he drinking out of a bottle in my care?  Well...  For some reason last week I was really low on milk.  I tried everything to get my supply back up - sleeping more, eating more, pumping & feeding more, fenugreek, this other stuff I bought, but my baby kept acting like he wasn't getting enough.  I got frustrated after several days & decided to give up.  I was doing everything I could, and I still only had one bag of milk to take to the babysitter's Monday morning. 

So we fed him some formula.  I kept pumping occasionally when I got full of milk, many hours later than usual.

I felt guilty.  And sad - I cried a little feeding him a bottle because he never looked into my eyes.  But I also felt relieved that I wouldn't be constantly worrying about my milk supply & when I would pump & whether or not he is getting enough.  And then I felt guilty again. 

And I'm pretty much feeling those same feelings right now.  I pumped two bags yesterday, but I need three to take him to the babysitter's, so he will be accompanied by breastmilk & formula today.