Oh My Gosh...

Isaiah & I have been sick since my last post.  We started getting better just last week.  A bit lingers on - a little congestion almost every morning but gone again by night time.  It was just a really bad cold, with fever, sore throats & congestion.  Marcus & family wanted to take him to the hospital because it wasn't going away.  But I convinced them to leave it alone.  That there was no medicine that would cure a cold, and I was confident that it was only a cold, nothing bacterial.  I didn't let him take any tylenol because I had heard too much about baby medicine recalls. 

Anyway, lots has happened in the mean time.  Too much to talk about tonight.

Tonight, I'm saying Oh my gosh because Marcus is trying to put Isaiah asleep.  Historically I put him to sleep because I've got the soothing voice.

While he was sick, we got into the habit of nursing in bed while lying down, whenever he wished.  Right before bed, right before nap time, whenever.  He did it so much, he now just rolls over whenever he is hungry.  This led to his waking more frequently throughout the night.  Also, there were many nights when he would only fall asleep in my arms, a characteristic he didn't even have when he was new.  He got used to that too.  I knew when he was better, we would have to get back to him putting himself to sleep.

I decided tonight would be the night.  I put him to bed in his crib when I knew he was tired & full.  We let him cry for 7 minutes, and Marcus couldn't take it any longer.  He went to try to get him to sleep.  He pushed me out of the room when I tried to help.  He's probably been in there 15 minutes now, and the crying is worse than it was after 7 minutes of his crying by himself. 

Marcus likes to accuse me of spoiling Isaiah.  I always ask him what he would do in the same situation.  Now I know.

We Got Married - Part One

Once upon a time, 4.5 years ago, I met Marcus Briggs at a restaurant named Cuba Libre.  He was my trainer one day, although he didn't do much training because he was too busy talking to everyone else in the restaurant & probably drinking to nurse the previous night's hangover, because that's how we did it back in the day. 

We were coworkers.  Then friends later.  Then business partners.  Then 2 Aprils ago we started dating.  (Okay, there was a little more to the story leading up to the dating part).  Well a lot more because at the time, we were already in love.  He told me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.  And I felt the same way.

There were some things he needed to work on though.  Like he was almost 30 years old and had never lived away from home.  So we decided to take it slowly; we weren't in a hurry.

Then...  Oops, we got pregnant!  Sorry Isaiah, but we definitely did not plan to have you. 

When I started this blog at the beginning of my pregnancy, we talked about getting married.  It was something his mom wanted us to do, so Marcus said he wanted it too.  It wasn't that important to me; I've never been a big fan of rushing into life altering decisions (on purpose).  But I did want to spend the rest of my life with him, so I agreed. 

I started imagining being married.  Mostly I just liked the idea of calling the father of my child something different than my boyfriend.  But nothing ever happened.  His mother, his friends & I would occasionally ask about what was going on with the wedding, but he would always change the subject.  So I stopped asking. 

The baby came.  His best friend got married.  We started a business.  During all of this he talked of marriage.  But it was just talk; he never acted upon it. 

Until 3 weeks ago, when there was some drama with BB's (Isaiah's big brother) mother.  I don't know if I'm going to write about that drama yet.  Have to get permission from my husband.  The important piece of the story (for this post) is that the experience made him cherish his family. 

So one night he asked me when we were going to get married.

Snow Day

It has been snowing since I woke up this morning.  From 6am to now, 10pm, and it's still going. 

I realize there are so many of you that live through snow every day of your long winters.  And I totally admire you for it.  But I live in Dallas.  Where it doesn't snow.  Several weeks ago, it was patio weather.  In a typical year, it will stay that way January through the spring & summer.  But today it's snowing!!! 

The day was bittersweet for me.  It was of course beautiful to see my surroundings enveloped in a white blanket.  I tried to remember to take pictures so I could remember that beautiful part.  But then my camera died, and the pictures I took weren't fabulous, so I didn't save them.

It would have remained beautiful if I could have stayed at home all day. 

But I had an event.  Which means there was lots of driving from my new home several tens of miles away to my job.  Then there was lots of being in the cold & getting wet loading & unloading equipment.  Because of the snow, and because most of Dallas doesn't like driving in it as much as I don't, there was lots of worrying that we would be delayed in traffic. 

My worries were unwarranted.  My wonderful boyfriend drove us safely into town, to our equipment in the storage we call the fortress, to the restaurant & to the event.  And we were even a little earlier than usual. 

They loved everything, even the Brownie Cookies that I baked last night.  But I guess that's a whole other post, because I've never baked anything before in my life, but I am baking now. 

By the end of the event, it had been snowing so long that the ground was layered in deep slush & water, and Marcus knew how cold I was getting.  So he unloaded everything. 

Somewhere in all of that, a crack developed all the way across my windshield.  I think it was Marcus's tactic of clearing the snow with a piece of wood.  But he knows it couldn't have been that.

He drove us back home, where he got his truck stuck in the mud/snow/rock that he ran it into. 

Then there was more driving to go pick up his son.  There was even more snow where his mom lives in BFE.  This was the first yard full of snow that made me want to play in it. 

We were just going to take him for a quick bite because the roads were rumored to become icy soon.  But he insisted on the far away Saltgrass, where he has to go every time we see him, because he loves their pizza. 

When we returned, I wanted to throw just one snowball, but in the process, I stepped my feet into the deepest pile of snow and soaked my shoes.  That one snowball was worth it, even though I didn't throw it at anyone or anything.

Marcus pumped my gas & put air in my tires.  And then he drove us safely home.  But on the way home, there was an idiot who cut us off on the interstate and another one who ran a red light, both who almost hit us. 

These bad weather driving moments & these moments where idiots almost hit me & hurt me & my family are the only times I am ever stressed.  Marcus thought our son wouldn't approve of the language I used.

Walking through the parking lot that never has any parking spaces, there was less snow & more of that snow slush, so my feet were drenched in freezing water.

Marcus attempted to get his truck out of the rock in the snow/mud.  And I cuddled up to warm clothes, my couch Hattie, & my computer Mona. 

What a crazy day for me.  Long, tiring, full of surprises, stress, & laughter.  I am mostly now full of gratitude that my boyfriend is so resourceful, caring, loving, and helpful.  And I am even more grateful that me, my boyfriend, and my son - my family - are despite my fears of extreme weather, all safe. 

On our way to work in the morning, I sang a song for Marcus that the Kipapas used to sing every time my dad would leave town for work or before we would all travel... 

Jesus, be a fence all around us every day.  Oh oh oh Jesus, won't you protect us as we travel on our way.  I know you care, yes Lord, I know you will.  You'll fight our battles if we just keep still.  Oh Jesus be a fence all around us every day, every day oh every day. 

I cried a little.

Christmas Number One

After all the presents were opened.  All the gifts were given.  The room seemed empty & lifeless.   A wedding reception after the bride & groom and the guests leave abruptly, and all that's left is the mess and the caterers. 

I always I get a little sad at this moment on Christmas.  All that anticipation... 

I'm pretty good at gifts, and every year I hope someone will challenge my skills, but they never do.  I know it's selfish to think such things, so after that moment of sadness, I tell myself it's not about me, it's not about me.  Then the sadness goes away.  We eat and watch movies and all go on with our lives. 

Not this year though.  It wasn't a gift that changed things.  I think it had something to do with whom I was spending my Christmas.  And I'm not sure if I've ever felt that way before. 

First Marcus came & picked me up during some bad weather because I was afraid to drive. 

Over the course of two days, he cooked for the entire family several times.  He wouldn't let me lift a finger. 

Whenever he walked by, he kissed my forehead. 

He talked to our baby. 

I lay my head on a pillow on the couch, and he put my feet on the couch & covered me with a blanket.   

Maybe he was trying to impress his mom.  Whatever his motivation, I don't care.  He made me feel loved.  

I guess it was a gift that deterred the recurring moment of sadness.  Just an intangible one.