Waiting for the Groove of Productivity

I am not sure if I've figured out the makeup thing yet.  I've tried a few times, and I can definitely tell a difference in the face & the lips.  The eyes still baffle me, even though up until a few days ago, the eyes were the only part I was able to master.  Yesterday I was asked to manage.  I wore a skirt & boots, which I have NEVER done.  I forced my boss (who is the messenger of the Man) to score me every day so I can know specifics about what to improve.  The first day he gave me a 3.5 on a scale of 0-5 (5 being the worst).  Yesterday he gave me a...  "It's good miss." 

I guess I should post a picture of the progress, but not today!!!  Because today, I am not doing anything to my face or my hair.  I am going to gaze out of my huge sun room window at the beautiful sky, but I am not going outside.  I will enjoy it from the confines of my apartment walls.

And I will get some work done.  Hopefully.  I have got lots of work & homework to catch up on. 

I have recently gotten over the fatigue of the first trimester, even though everyone has laughed & responded with, "That's what you think."  But I feel good for now!  I no longer want to fall asleep every time I sit down on my former office chair, my comfy couch named Hattie.  When I have to wake up in the morning, I usually feel great; I don't cling to my bed in agony and pray for just an hour longer. 

This newfound energy is so exciting to me.  I am not ridiculously tired all of the time.  I don't drink anymore, which translates into many things.  The money I save is so brilliant, I wonder how I used to justify spending so much in the past.  The hangovers don't ruin my days & diet.  I don't waste a lot of my time at my favorite bars or restaurants.  I don't have to put in as much friend time anymore, because they all go out & drink, and they completely understand if I ditch them because well, who wants to hang out with the boring pregnant girl? 

It seems like I would have all this extra time to be productive right?  To read all the books I have been neglecting, to pick up the guitar that's been sitting untouched in the corner of my bedroom for years, to write the works of art that have been itching to emerge from my head, to thoroughly understand the ins & outs of Operations & Supply Management, to all of a sudden build my business exactly the way I've been wanting to, to exercise, to cook... 

But you know what really happened?  I've just become obsessed with reading about having babies & being a mommy.  Blogging goes along with that because I get to write & read about it.  Cooking follows suit because I want to have good mommy recipes for my family.  I still have to watch my favorite shows online while I eat & put on makeup. 

Everything else...  Blah.  Even my business, which I'm usually incredibly passionate about!

So what is the cure for procrastination I ask?  Is it to reconnect with the things I love about what I should be doing?  Is it more time, as one friend suggested?  Or is it deadlines?  I read somewhere that a goal means nothing unless you put a time limit on it.  Or does setting deadlines take too much time? 

Perhaps it's time management which I'm trying.  Since all of my work is done at home, I've been asked by the Man to start keeping track of my hours.  Now I am keeping track of all of my hours, work & personal.  Maybe seeing where my time is going will help me allocate it better.

We'll see.  All I know is that waiting for the groove is probably not the best idea.  I think I'll have to work for it.  I'm positive that this struggle is foreshadowing of the work/life balance I constantly hear about entrepreneurs striving to find. 

I guess it's good that my vices are productive things.  Instead of playing video games.  Or reading trashy romance novels.  Or... Shopping. 

Putting on a new face... First Post!!!

So this is my first post, and it is not about what I intended. I was waiting (procrastinating) because I wanted the first post to be a quick brilliantly written summary of why I'm writing a blog for the first time. 

I'm gonna be a mommy.  That's the development that pushed me over the edge into the blogging world.  I didn't want all of my already crazy emotions & thoughts to go unspoken.  I didn't want to go through my struggles alone.

Among those struggles -- I'm not married yet.  I could write a whole different blog about me & the baby's daddy.  My family is far away.  I don't own a house.  I don't really only own anything except lots of credit card debt (long stories), some furniture, and my favorite thing in the world, my Mac Book Mona (purchased with a credit card).

I'm halfway through getting my MBA online, and man, it is getting tough.

And finally -- I'm trying to run someone else's business with little support but with plenty of occasional, uninformed oversight.  This oversight is the topic of the day. 

Yesterday, I was told by my boss that his boss would prefer that I improve my image.

That's the old me.  According to the man, I need better hair, better makeup, and a better wardrobe.  And I thought I was doing well with my appearance, considering that I came from a family that never really emphasized material improvements of our natural God-given beauty (aka some called my parents hippies). 

BUT I understand their intentions that I inferred, that if I want to attract a certain clientele, I need to look like them. The clientele being the typical Dallasite, rich, well dressed, & well groomed.  I understand that conformity is often a necessity. 

However, there are a few issues with the challenge.  I'm pregnant.  I shouldn't really be investing in a wardrobe right before I'm going to blow up like a bubble.  And again...  I'm pregnant, and I think I may have alluded to not being rich.  I need to be saving my money for baby bills, not spending it on girly stuff!  

I shouldn't be doing it, but it is important for my job.  So yesterday, I went to a hair stylist looking for a professional, yet simple haircut.  He explained that I already had that, I just needed to spend more time on it & practice fixing it more.  Cool, saved the money on that one. 

Then I went to mall, looking for makeup advice.  The girl at the makeup counter was 8 months pregnant, and she was soooo cute!  Another lady joined in our pregnant talk, and they told me about 3 other women they work with that are pregnant.  So of course we bonded.

And I spent $267...  On makeup.  That hurts me to admit it.  After writing this, I want to completely block my memory of the amount. 

My boyfriend, who grew up with the rich Dallasites, instead of being angry, said... "Awww, my baby's becoming a woman." 

I officially can't purchase any makeup for at least 5 years.  I really have to learn how to fix my hair without professional help.  And I will enlist the help of a friend to help me to modify my wardrobe inexpensively. 

So we'll see if it all works!  I will let you know if $____ of makeup will improve your appearance so drastically that you get a promotion. 

I will share my struggle of putting on a new face, while I embark upon the adventure of putting on my other new figurative face - becoming a mommy.