Isaiah's Birth From the Eyes of Aunty Glory

The early labor pains didn’t start until early Tuesday morning.  I was very excited.  My sister Jewel was going to have her first baby really soon, and I was going to be there when it happened.  This wasn’t going to be a traditional birth. It was going to take place in my sister’s home, carried out by midwives.  Although it may have been controversial, it was exactly what she wanted.

The anticipation grew as we prepared the food and got everything ready for the birth.  It was a good thing we did all the shopping the day before and started preparing while Jewel was still able to.  Turns out we timed it all just right.  Near the end of the day though the contractions weren’t close enough, so we decided to head to bed. 

Mom and I were awakened by my oldest sister and my 21 month old nephew at five that morning.  The family had driven all the way from Florida so they could make it for the birth.  They had been awake the whole way here and needed me and Mom to watch my nephew while they got some rest.  At this point Jewel was out in the living room half-way on the exercise ball and leaning on the couch while she went through the pains and tried to get some sleep when she could.  In the other room I watched cartoons and played with my nephew.

Jewel’s contractions got closer together as the day went on.  Around noon it was time for the midwives to come.  We got all the food laid out.  It looked beautiful, a feast to the eyes as well as the mouth.  As the contractions became more intense, I could tell by her clinched face and her disheartening moans that the time was getting even closer still.  I felt so sad when she was in pain, wishing it didn’t have to hurt so much.  At one point I thought, if only I could carry some of the pain for her... 

During the worst of the contractions, my older sister scolded me and Mom if we were making the slightest amount of noise.  Apparently it bothered Jewel, so I made extra effort to be quiet when Jewel gave the heads up.  It wasn’t until the last stretch of labor that Jewel had her music playing.  She made a special playlist for this very occasion just a few days ahead of time.

Mostly on the ball, then the bed, Jewel did an incredible job dealing with the pain.  It really impressed me.  This was my first birth to witness in it’s entirety.  She didn’t do like most I’ve seen in the movies, screaming, crying uncontrollably, and yelling obscenities to the one who got her pregnant then to the next person that speaks.  No, nothing like that.  It flowed beautifully, even gracefully in a way.  The midwives were there offering guidance as well as comfort and support.  All three of them bearing this motherly and sisterly kindness, something that would be hard to come by in a hospital setting.

I was assigned to be the videographer for the birth.  There was also a professional photographer.  So for around an hour or so before the baby came, I began shooting.  I shot some of Jewel going through her labor pains, and then as it neared the final pushes, I shot long steady clips which will be pieced together at a later date to for, hopefully, a beautiful short video of the birth. 

The birth took place in Jewel’s bedroom.  Marcus (the baby daddy) and Sarah (the Head midwife) were right by Jewel’s side.  Mom and my older sis were on the love-seat.  The other two midwives were here and there taking notes and gathering whatever was needed.  And the photographer and I were in the corner (well she jumped around a lot of course.  But I got to see it all! 

Once the head was coming, I could really feel the excitement in the whole room.  It was thrilling.  Jewel got on her hands and knees so that she could push more easily.  I’d never heard of having a baby that way, but Sarah suggested it.  As soon as she got into that position, it didn’t seem long at all until little Isaiah’s head came into view.  For just a minute or two, there was just his head poking out.  It seemed kinda scary just seeing him like that, with his facial muscles not really moving and him not breathing, but I later  I learned that he was still getting oxygen through the umbilical cord. 

Then all of a sudden, Marcus quickly moved towards the rear, held out his hands, and the baby just slid into his arms.  It was awesome.  And just a few seconds later there was a little cry.  But it wasn’t just baby Isaiah who was crying.  I began to tear up, and I’m sure most of the room did as well.  It was very moving just watching Jewel gaze into her child’s eyes.  It’s so hard to believe that she really did it.  She had a baby!  She gave birth to another life!  Someone who looks like her, has her characteristics, and can offer her love in return.  It’s unbelievable to me.  I’m still coming to this same realization with my other two siblings who have had kids as well.

It was such a wonderful and rewarding experience to be a spectator at such an amazing event.  It literally took my breath away.  I’m still in awe.  Isaiah turned out perfect.  He is so very precious.  And I cannot stress too much how beautiful the whole birth was.  Even though there were some parts that were messy and bloody and unpleasing to the eye, the love that was radiating in that room and the little bundle of joy who finally came into the world captured the attention and clouded out any of those other things.  This was an experience like no other, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

As everyone began to turn in for bed at the end of the day and after almost everyone got to cradle the baby and ooh and ahh over him, I finally got to hold him.  With my little nephew in my arms, I kissed him on the cheek and gently rocked him to sleep.  As he slept there in my arms, I thought of how sweet, how tender this moment was.  I’m sure I will probably have many more like this with Isaiah and possibly in the future a precious child of my own.  I will definitely hold onto these memories forever, and I know that this entire day is a day I will never forget.

Things to Do to Prepare for Childbirth

Technically I have 8 weeks or 57 days until my due date, which is June 1st.  And I am aware that I could have Isaiah much before or much after this somewhat meaningless date.  BUT it is the Kipapa tradition to have boys two weeks early.  So that means May 18th.  Or 43 days.  He is full term in 36 days.  So I've decided that I need to be prepared before then.

Thankfully, due to the diligence of my lovely sister, I have made lists of items needed and registered for them (so she could tell baby shower invitees where I am registered).  That was really difficult.

But that's about it.  There is so much more!!!! 

The first thing I am obsessing over...  The way I will look.

After watching birth photography slideshows during a birthing class, I decided that I must hire a birth photographer, regardless of whether I have money for it.  Then I found a great one, referred to me by my midwife, who happens to have a special package deal for maternity, birth, and newborn shoots.  So of course I have to do that because I want all three of those.  I found her; I haven't booked her yet. 

So I need to book her.  Then I need to figure out what I'm going to wear during the shoot.  So far I have about 4 work related maternity clothing items that I've bought on my own.  Apart from that, I'm wearing borrowed clothes from my sister & a friend I used to work with.  There is nothing that I can imagine myself wearing for a shoot.  So I have to buy something.  Or two.  I figure this something will triple as an outfit for a good friend's upcoming wedding and my baby shower. 

Then I need to decide and prepare what I'll be wearing at Isaiah's birth.  I saw this girl in a birth video wearing some sort of bra or bathing suit top that made her boobs look amazing.  That's what I want.  I don't know what I'll do about the bottom yet.  Maybe something for the first parts of labor & then I'll take it off? 

And this is really weird of me to say, but I want my toenails done.  And I want to be waxed.  And I need a haircut, which I've needed for months.  Nothing drastic, I just need some layers in my life.  I figure I can do these things also for the photo shoot, wedding & baby shower. 

Then I want to figure out a perfect hairstyle for the birth.  I might be in water, and I'll likely be sweating a lot, so I know I can't wear it down.  But I don't want an ugly ponytail, because I really hate my hair when it's in a ponytail (or when I put it there).  I'm thinking something like this would be perfect. 

That would be a good job for the lovely woman who is my mother.  She will be arriving for the baby shower and staying until...  Until she is done with me or until I don't need her anymore, whichever comes first. 

It's weird of me to care about all of these things because I normally don't all that much.  Maybe I care because I haven't done any of these things in the past 8 months.  Maybe I care because I feel like this will be the greatest moment of my womanhood, so I want to look the part.  Who knows why, but I care. 

I think that about covers everything I need to do to my body (well the outside of it) to prepare for birth.  Next we'll talk about the apartment, the nursery, things I need to do internally, exercises I need to be doing, other things I need to buy, things I need to prepare with the business...  La la la.

Oh Lots of Stuff

I got up at about 5:30 this morning, and I feel great.  I should do this more often.  Maybe not necessarily 5:30 but I need to get up when I'm not sleepy anymore.  I tend to sleep in longer out of habit or because Marcus is still sleeping.  I hope this refreshed feeling sustains long enough to keep me from sleeping in. 

So many different things are going on in my life right now, I think I need to separate them with sections...  I need to figure out how to do that in my mind.

School

I've got 2 or 3 eight week terms left before I get my MBA.  I haven't really loved the program; I've been holding on to it for awhile hoping that I would get something out of it eventually.  Now I'm only holding on because I'm close to finishing.  And if I quit, I start having to pay student loans back. 

I enjoyed this last course I just finished a few days ago.  But it was also the most difficult.  I was hoping I would get a little slack from the next one, you know since I'll be taking it during the last months of pregnancy.  Nope!  It will be the most difficult & the most uninteresting, inapplicable to my life. 

But I can do it right? 

Money Money Money

I got a speeding ticket last week, leaving an interview for a job that didn't hire me.  I think it was a sign.  An expensive sign.  I was going 2 miles over the limit where you can take defensive driving to release it from record.  A $300 sign. 

I was continuing to stay positive about the future.  But as the days passed, and more bills kept creeping up on us, the more I wondered how & when it would all work out.  It would worry me the most when baby stuff would come up, all of the things we need but haven't purchased yet. 

My former employer offered to pay me minimum wage for two weeks in gratitude for my loyalty to them.  Half of what I would make from unemployment.  I declined the offer.  Evidently my loyalty wasn't worth much. 

My mom & dad called at 2 different times to see how I was doing, but I didn't answer because I didn't want them worrying about me.

And then...  Four things I've been working on suddenly paid off.  Right on time.  It was so incredible, I could barely contain myself.

Then I called my mom & dad back. 

The Business

Writing a business plan.  Filing for tax permits.  Returning my LLC into good standing with the Secretary of State because apparently I was supposed to file taxes even though I never used the LLC two years ago.  Arranging logo design.  Getting funding.  Obtaining insurance quotes.  Getting Bank of America to approve the business checking account, but only after they talk to my partners that never answer their phones that were originally on the LLC two years ago and only after I get back in good standing with the Secretary of State.  Figuring out the things I need a lawyer for and things I can get away with doing on my own for now.  And then...  More importantly, establishing & building relationships with potential clients & vendors.

Lots of work.  But it's already starting to pay off. 

The Pregnancy

We've been going to childbirth classes the past few weeks.  Apparently it's a little early for that, but that's okay, less for me to worry about the last few months.  There are 4 other couples in the class with about the same due date with the same midwife.  Everyone says it will magically work out.  I definitely hope that is the case.  Marcus feels a little more comfortable with the idea of home birth now that he saw a bunch of other dads in the class.  It is neat to to be around people going through the same things we are. And it's also cool to see other women as far along as me, to compare bellies.  Only in my mind of course.  Let's just say it makes me feel that I'm growing normally. 

Isaiah has an odd movement schedule. Some days he moves around a lot.  Some days he doesn't.  Most days he doesnt.  He usually doesn't move much when I'm moving, and maybe he moves a little more when I'm laying down to go to bed.  But that's all.  I hear some women talk about knowing when their baby is going to sleep & wake up, knowing their schedule already & what they're doing at all times.  Not me & Isaiah, not yet. 

Sleep can be a little rough sometimes.  Marcus is great here because he will support my back when needed or turn me over when I accidentally start sleeping on my back. 

Again, no nesting yet.  I did think about the colors in his room though, how I could make it work so it would be fitting for him and for my future stepson when he stays with us. 

I got some stretch marks.  I was skimping a little bit on my belly cream because it's expensive.  Guess that was a bad idea.  Oh well...  I'll take some for the team. 

And about my size...  Even though I was comparing my belly size to other mommies, I decided recently that I don't really care.  I can't change anything about my size right now other than eat healthy & remain active & do my labor exercises.  So I'm just gonna do those things & stop worrying about how big I am. 

So this is how big I am!!!!  7 months along. 

I think I look smaller in this one.

But I think I like my face better in this one.