From the Eyes of Mama J

This is Marcus's new nickname for my mother.  I actually love it, and I'm considering changing her grandmother name (Grammy) to Mama J. 

I asked my mother to write about her experience at my birth.  But I didn't want another recap; I wanted her to talk about it in relation to her birth history -- 5 natural births & a short stint as a midwife's assistant.  I didn't realize she isn't the biggest fan of writing.  I assumed she would be; she has a degree in elementary education, is an incredible artist & musician, and she wrote several wonderful songs in her younger days.  But she isn't, so it took a little longer than Aunty Glory's story.  But that's okay, I'm still not done with my version for other reasons. 

And without further ado...  My mother... 

"Being with Jewel the days before Isaiah's birth brought it all back to me.  Actually my memories of all 5 pregnancies and births had been surfacing pretty much ever since Jewel's older sister got pregnant over two years ago.  Now more than ever.

My desire to give birth at home began in a small town in Hawaii, when I was not working during my first pregnancy.  Long hours of research on all types of birth led me to this desire.  Only problem: I didn't know any midwives or where I might find one in our area.  I did find a doctor that would do my second birth at home, but he didn't do first births because of the uncertainty whether my pelvic area could pass a baby.  Come on, look at me!  I felt that this doctor was my only choice.  So when the time came, we began with a typical hospital birth.  No disasters--thank God--only the normal hospital experience with intervention:  strange doctors and nurses, an episiotomy (45 min. of stitching), moving from labor bed to gurney to another bed in a near operating room, and then having to go home the next day.  Now I don't mean to be such a whiner.  Even though some of the circumstances surrounding my first baby's birth weren't ideal, the results were outstanding:  a gorgeous, precious baby girl!

After that experience I was sure that I wanted to try for the previously desired home birth.  And so Jewel became my first home birth the next year!

The Friday before Jewel was due (Sat.) I had a regularly scheduled visit to the doctor where he discovered all was well, and the baby's head was engaged.  He was planning to come to the house this time, but he told me not to give birth until Monday (ha, ha) so he could be there because he would be out of town that weekend.  He encouraged me to go to the hospital if I did go into labor while he was away.  Well, I didn't want to be stuck in my ways, but I had been praying about this home birth and except for the absence of a medical attendant, we were well prepared.  My husband was ready with his EMT knowhow on childbirth, and I really had a peace in my heart that we should go for it.  When I was sure I was in labor, we also called my best friend with midwifery training to see if she could leave her post (husband and 3 kids) and come up the mountain to attend this impending birth. 

We were housesitting at our neighbor's house across the street while they were in the mainland.  And a party was gathering:  the neighbors next door, my father-in-law, my sister-in-law and her son.  From what I remember they were all very helpful to make it a positive experience. While labor was moderate, I walked and breathed through the pains trying not to laugh at the jokes being told.  Finally, I retreated to the bedroom.  I'm not sure of the timing but it wasn't long before my water broke and I felt like pushing.  With my best friend, husband and sister-in-law gathered around, we were ready to welcome our new baby.  As I pushed, my husband caught the little one.  She didn't breathe right away.  We massaged her and talked to her.  Then her daddy slapped her bottom the old fashioned way, and she began to wail.  It took us an hour or two to name her: Jewel, as a gem, a precious stone, in the Bible referring to the church of God; and Sandra, after my friend who helped deliver her.

No birth is the same even with the same mother.  And except for the fact that they were both boys, my next two were as different as they come.  We had moved to California when I was 7 months pregnant.  Not the most ideal time to find a doctor or midwife.  But I did.  I saw him on a Wednesday when he told me I had about 2 more weeks.  Then Friday afternoon I phoned him to report that my water had broken.  Due to the great act of breast stimulation, which we began at about 9pm, our first boy was born at 11:35pm.  Two and a half hour labor!  Every mother's dream.

My desire for home birth didn't stop with myself; I wanted to be a midwife too.  So when I was presented with the opportunity to apprentice with a midwife from our community I jumped right in.  After a year I had assisted in 10 births and what a privilege!  Unfortunately I had to resign for I could not be very helpful anymore.  Pregnant again, #4, and with complications.  When I was about 2 months I was feeling a really heavy sensation and soreness in my back and thighs.  I had a prolapse uterus.  I had to stay in bed until 20 weeks.  And since this would have been too dangerous to deliver at home, I found a nurse midwife that would do the birth at the hospital.  It turned out to be a very pleasant experience since the midwife got to stay with me for everything.

We had one more child.  A third daughter.  And yes, she was born at home.  All around she was a miracle baby, but that's another story.

When Jewel told me she was going to have a home birth, naturally I was delighted.  Because she was my first home birth, her decision was all the more special to me.  Throughout the pregnancy, she was good about taking care of her body, eating well etc., she chose competent midwives, and she assured Marcus that all would be well since he was rather nervous about a home birth for his son.

We were expecting Isaiah to be born early since all the other boys in the family were at least 10 days before their due dates.  So beginning at two weeks early, we were well prepared.  It turned out that 6 days was the magic number for Jewel.

The birth day started out perfectly.  Jewel was in steady labor early in the morning.  Her older sister and family arrived from vacation in Florida at about 5am, having driven all night to get here.  Jewel's younger sister and I were commissioned to babysit their baby while mom slept awhile. 

Jewel was in pretty intense labor when we called the midwives, and they showed up about 12:30pm.  As everyone breathed a sigh of relief at the attendants' arrival, Jewel labored on in an amazing fashion.  I was so proud of her as she took control of her breathing and managed each contraction splendidly (at least it appeared that way to us!).  Marcus was right by her side displaying such care and connectedness.  It was really quite moving. 

And when the time was right he caught baby Isaiah with gentle hands and cut the cord in order hold his son at last.

This birth was amazing.   Almost magical.  God certainly had his hand in on it, orchestrating its success.  I thank Him for allowing Jewel and Marcus such a wonderful experience bringing their son into the world."