Happy Anniversary

I think I'm typing faster now than I used to.  Because I have to.  I just learned this week that the rest of the world has eliminated the double space after a period.  I learned it after realizing my double spaces weren't translating through HTML while editing my new site.  My world is rocked.  Almost as much as when I learned that there was no 3rd comma when typing a list.  I halfway do it the new way & halfway the old.  I wonder if I'll ever be able to stop double spacing. 

So my new website is going live as we speak.  My designer & I started working on it towards the middle of the summer.  Wow, it's been a long road full of lots of sleepless nights.  And money.  Even though I did most of the content (me & one of my employees that came in towards the end to help), it still cost the same amount as my original site.

Since last week I've seriously been considering changing my name.  I've been thinking about for over a year (pretty much since I started it), but it's been more on my mind lately with the new site coming out.  I want my blog to be respected among the foodie community as a source to find good restaurants, but who would want to go to CaterServe's food blog?  Ughh, not me.  I need a new name.  A perfect one. 

I need a new computer.  A new phone.  A headset.  A van.  New equipment.  A full time assistant.  A full time social media/marketing director.  I have the people, I just need the money to pay for them.  And I also need more time to spend with my son - I didn't take any pictures of him this weekend.  :(

It was our anniversary yesterday - we made it a year! 

We had an event that was a disaster (my first one yet).  And Isaiah's babysitter (Nana) couldn't keep him overnight.  We had to cancel our dinner reservations because of the disaster catering.  Then we had about 30 minutes to eat our anniversary dinner at another restaurant.  Then we had to drive to Sunnyvale to pick up Isaiah.  Happy Anniversary! 

But really we had some lovely moments surrounding the actual date, & it wouldn't be very like us if it weren't chaotic & unexpected so I think we're going to chalk this one up as a success. 

Oh Lots of Stuff

I got up at about 5:30 this morning, and I feel great.  I should do this more often.  Maybe not necessarily 5:30 but I need to get up when I'm not sleepy anymore.  I tend to sleep in longer out of habit or because Marcus is still sleeping.  I hope this refreshed feeling sustains long enough to keep me from sleeping in. 

So many different things are going on in my life right now, I think I need to separate them with sections...  I need to figure out how to do that in my mind.

School

I've got 2 or 3 eight week terms left before I get my MBA.  I haven't really loved the program; I've been holding on to it for awhile hoping that I would get something out of it eventually.  Now I'm only holding on because I'm close to finishing.  And if I quit, I start having to pay student loans back. 

I enjoyed this last course I just finished a few days ago.  But it was also the most difficult.  I was hoping I would get a little slack from the next one, you know since I'll be taking it during the last months of pregnancy.  Nope!  It will be the most difficult & the most uninteresting, inapplicable to my life. 

But I can do it right? 

Money Money Money

I got a speeding ticket last week, leaving an interview for a job that didn't hire me.  I think it was a sign.  An expensive sign.  I was going 2 miles over the limit where you can take defensive driving to release it from record.  A $300 sign. 

I was continuing to stay positive about the future.  But as the days passed, and more bills kept creeping up on us, the more I wondered how & when it would all work out.  It would worry me the most when baby stuff would come up, all of the things we need but haven't purchased yet. 

My former employer offered to pay me minimum wage for two weeks in gratitude for my loyalty to them.  Half of what I would make from unemployment.  I declined the offer.  Evidently my loyalty wasn't worth much. 

My mom & dad called at 2 different times to see how I was doing, but I didn't answer because I didn't want them worrying about me.

And then...  Four things I've been working on suddenly paid off.  Right on time.  It was so incredible, I could barely contain myself.

Then I called my mom & dad back. 

The Business

Writing a business plan.  Filing for tax permits.  Returning my LLC into good standing with the Secretary of State because apparently I was supposed to file taxes even though I never used the LLC two years ago.  Arranging logo design.  Getting funding.  Obtaining insurance quotes.  Getting Bank of America to approve the business checking account, but only after they talk to my partners that never answer their phones that were originally on the LLC two years ago and only after I get back in good standing with the Secretary of State.  Figuring out the things I need a lawyer for and things I can get away with doing on my own for now.  And then...  More importantly, establishing & building relationships with potential clients & vendors.

Lots of work.  But it's already starting to pay off. 

The Pregnancy

We've been going to childbirth classes the past few weeks.  Apparently it's a little early for that, but that's okay, less for me to worry about the last few months.  There are 4 other couples in the class with about the same due date with the same midwife.  Everyone says it will magically work out.  I definitely hope that is the case.  Marcus feels a little more comfortable with the idea of home birth now that he saw a bunch of other dads in the class.  It is neat to to be around people going through the same things we are. And it's also cool to see other women as far along as me, to compare bellies.  Only in my mind of course.  Let's just say it makes me feel that I'm growing normally. 

Isaiah has an odd movement schedule. Some days he moves around a lot.  Some days he doesn't.  Most days he doesnt.  He usually doesn't move much when I'm moving, and maybe he moves a little more when I'm laying down to go to bed.  But that's all.  I hear some women talk about knowing when their baby is going to sleep & wake up, knowing their schedule already & what they're doing at all times.  Not me & Isaiah, not yet. 

Sleep can be a little rough sometimes.  Marcus is great here because he will support my back when needed or turn me over when I accidentally start sleeping on my back. 

Again, no nesting yet.  I did think about the colors in his room though, how I could make it work so it would be fitting for him and for my future stepson when he stays with us. 

I got some stretch marks.  I was skimping a little bit on my belly cream because it's expensive.  Guess that was a bad idea.  Oh well...  I'll take some for the team. 

And about my size...  Even though I was comparing my belly size to other mommies, I decided recently that I don't really care.  I can't change anything about my size right now other than eat healthy & remain active & do my labor exercises.  So I'm just gonna do those things & stop worrying about how big I am. 

So this is how big I am!!!!  7 months along. 

I think I look smaller in this one.

But I think I like my face better in this one. 

I Got Some Money Cause I Just Got Paid

Not really.  Cause I lost my job this week.  Four years of working for the same company, the longest I’ve ever worked for anyone, is over. 

I’m trying not to freak out.  I promised Isaiah that I wouldn’t.  That I would remain positive for him. 

But I’m a little glad that I can freak out internally, without my heart beating faster, without my breath getting shorter, without any physical symptoms of the freakout (that I know of).  Because I think I need to freak out a little right now. 

We were already having difficulty.  And now, well, I don’t know how we’re going to pay our bills, much less buy things for our little one’s arrival.  I hear lots of stories of moms getting everything ready around this time.  I have nothing. 

I tried to get another job within our company.  No one needs anyone.  And I don’t want to look outside of the company because I don’t think I would be a good candidate to be a waitress 2 1/2 months before I’m supposed to give birth. 

But that’s all for the negative comments.  I hate whining. 

See, I know everything is going to work out.  Somehow, it will all be fine.  My bills (the ones that are required to keep my electricity & water on) will be paid.  And my baby will have clothes and diapers and a place to sleep. 

Marcus’s job is beginning to get better, and this week he was approached by a recruiter for a job in home health marketing.  A year ago, I would have told him to refuse this offer of a stable benefit providing job because it doesn’t fit into his long term goals.  But now, I welcome anything that can be put in the same sentence with stable & steady, consistent & dependable. 

As for me, I will be filing unemployment for the first time in my life and finally pursuing the entrepreneurial aspirations of mine.  Maybe not the best time for this in many people’s eyes.  But when is the best time?  After I give birth, when I can’t afford childcare?  Six months after? 

Maybe the best time is when there is nothing else I can do. 

We shall see.  In my eyes it is the most promising option.