I Want to Stay Six Forever

As you can see from the last post, I'm pretty overwhelmed.  It was a miracle today that Marcus decided to come with me to pick up the boys from school.  That was so nice, & I know BB really appreciated it. 

BB says he likes the school, that he has fun, & that he has made new friends.  But he says he doesn't want to go back; instead he wants to go to Nana & Papa's.  I think it's because it's new & different than what he was expecting a school to be.  He told them he was allergic to milk because he doesn't like to drink it.

Anyway, when Marcus left, as planned I gave the boys a snack & then started cooking while BB started his homework.  I try to brief him on the plan several times before actually doing it so there are no surprises when he has to not play games or watch TV.  Things went well for about 5 minutes or 1 page.  Then he was bored; it was taking too much of his time.  All of a sudden he didn't know how to count to 9.  (He totally knows how to count to 9).  I started explaining how to figure out the different combinations of 9 until it became completely clear that he wasn't listening & was only interested in whining his way out of doing homework. 

Okay BB, let me know when you're ready to try. 

I went back to cooking.  Almond Crusted Chicken with Broccoli & Rice (really Cauliflower Rice). 

He kept whining.  But it's so hard.  I can't figure it out.  I don't know how. 

BB, you figured out almost the same thing with every other number.  Use your counters (crayons) to help.  You know this answer.  You just need to focus & start thinking. 

We probably went back & forth like this for an hour.  There were a few times when he bolted out of the seat to go play or sulk on the couch.  I sternly told him to get back to the table; he was going to sit there until his homework was done.  No playing until he finished his homework.  Eventually I told him that it wouldn't hurt my feelings if he sat there all night, ate & then went to bed without playing. 

Finally finally finally, he decided to start trying.  Quickly he figured out the answers.  Then I walked him through figuring out the rest, how to use the crayons to figure out combinations to equal any number they gave him.  He worked diligently until dinner was ready. 

Somehow a miracle worker came along & possessed Isaiah to calmly & quietly go through books he found in a drawer during this whole trying to cook & help BB with his homework dilemma. 

We sat down to eat.  At first, BB said everything was good & was eating.  Then not so much.  Isaiah loved the Cauliflower Rice as did I.  And the broccoli.  But I overcooked the chicken, an art I have not come close to mastering because for some reason I'm always too afraid of undercooking.  But BB said everything was spicy.  I said if Isaiah the baby is eating it, it must not be that spicy.  I tried to explain the difference between saying something is spicy & just not liking it.  I said it was okay for him not to like it.  But I asked him to finish his broccoli.  He did. 

When he was done, he washed his hands, brushed his teeth, washed his face & changed into his jammies when I asked him to.  And I got in lots of cleaning.  I cleaned the counters, the table, the floor & picked up everything that Isaiah had thrown around the apartment. 

THEN, BB read a whole book to me & Isaiah.  Oh the Wonderful Sounds Mr Brown Can Do...  Wow, he did such a good job!!!  I feel like reading came so suddenly for him.  Isaiah was just playing & cracking up at his big brother the whole time. 

Bedtime for Isaiah - he went right to sleep.  Please stay that way Sweetheart.  BB sat down to finish his homework.  He worked quickly even though he said he was tired.  And we finished an entire "Topic"!  We were excited. 

Bedtime for BB - I said let's say a prayer.  He said his, Now I lay me down to sleep...  And I asked if I could say one too.  I thanked God for him & all the special time we were getting to spend with him & that he was able to hang out with his brother.  I asked God to give us more time to hang out with MB.  I thanked him for lots of things & asked for a lot.  BB told me to ask God to make the Gamefly come faster. 

I said tomorrow, maybe he could say some things to God too.  He said okay. 

He asked me why Jesus died on the cross.  I explained that because God made this rule a long time ago that said when we do bad things we have to sacrifice a real animal.  But we kept doing bad things over & over & God decided to send his son to be the sacrifice instead of all the animals, so that we would be forgiven & go to Heaven. 

He asked me if all of the people, God's people in Heaven not down here, are alive.  I said they were alive in a different way than us.  Like all of the thoughts & feelings called a soul or spirit are still alive. 

He asked me what will happen after I get old.  I said I would probably die. 

I want to stay six forever so I don't get old & die. 

I said, but BB, then you wouldn't get to do all the fun stuff that I get to do.  You'll get to go to more fun schools, get a job, make lots of money, drive cars, play lots of video games & have lots of girlfriends.

Come on!! 

He said he wished he was born in Hawaii like me.  I said we would visit one day. 

This summer? 

No it won't be very soon because tickets are very expensive - like $1,000. 

Okay well I want to go. 

But if we all go, you, me, your daddy, Isaiah -

And my cousins? 

Okay & you're cousins, Nana & Papa? 

And Makayla.  Yes! 

Well then how many people would that be let's count. 

10. 

So if tickets cost $1,000 how much money would we need for everyone to go? 

$10,000?

That's right.

Okay, is Daddy getting that tonight? 

I laughed.  No we're not going there this summer. Then he asked when we were going to get a little sister so Isaiah could play with her.  I said we would have to see - God controls all the babies. 

Then without a complaint he went to bed. 

So I guess you forget about all of the hard work after just a few moments like these.  Now I'm off to finish the dishes & laundry & maybe I'll get some real work done too.

Getting Adjusted to a Stepmom

Yesterday (Day 2 of the meal planning & new roomie) was hard.  Marcus & I worked an event (wake at 7am, take the kids by 9am, pack equipment at 9am, restaurant at 10am, event at 11am-2pm).  Then afterwards we had to finish moving all of our catering stuff to a new storage.  Moving boxes & catering equipment, shelving units & glass racks is not very fun at 2:30 in the afternoon in Dallas, TX in the middle of summer.  Which is one of the reasons for the move into a climate controlled space. 

Marcus finished while I picked up the boys & came home.  The plan was to have a snack then with Marcus, go to the store to buy BB some clothes because we are very very low on clothes that fit.  Marcus took much longer than we anticipated so we tried to do some homework while we waited.  BB was frustrated because he wanted to be playing, Isaiah was frustrated because he wanted to play with BB, & I was frustrated that there was so much chaos.  Finally I decided to leave, fearing that we would end up being at the store at bedtime if we waited much longer. 

When we arrived at the store, I got out to get the stroller ready & BB asked if he could take his football.  I said no, thinking there would be lots to grab his attention in the store & we didn't need anything to potentially lose.  But then I thought, ehhhh whatever, let him take the ball.  But he didn't hear me say that; instead he said well I'm taking MY BALL!  And went to grab it.  I said he wouldn't be taking it now. 

Pout pout pout, but I want to.  I asked if this is what he did when his mommy said no.   

No. 

So why are you acting like this with me?   

Because I want to take my ball. 

But don't you think you should listen to all adults & all the people that love you including me like you listen to your mommy? 

Yes. 

Then he went for the ball again like saying the right answer would land him what he wanted. 

Oh no, I said, still no ball.  You have to have a good attitude to start with to get the ball.  You can't fix it now to get what you want.  You can have a good attitude in the future, but you're not getting your ball now, no matter how many questions you answer right.  Pout pout pout. 

He ran to the door while I was putting Isaiah into the stroller. 

BB!  Get away from the door right now.  I walked over.  You know your daddy's going to be here soon, & you are getting in trouble. 

Nooooooo!!!!  He cried bloody murder then cried & cried & cried & wailed in front of the store.  We waited & waited.  Marcus called only to say he would be 20-30 more minutes & asked to talk to BB.  Yes sir.  Yes sir.  Okay I will.  He hung up the phone.  Okay Jewels, I'll do whatever you say. 

I explained that I would always tell his daddy about the way he is acting.  So it's best if he always does things that his daddy & mommy & God would be proud of.  He said he understood. 

He was okay after that.  We got several items before Marcus got there & it was instantly better when he arrived.  Of course he informed me that all of the things I picked out for BB were too small now.  He had moved on to the next size. 

It was fun after that.  The boys enjoyed their daddy.  Isaiah refused to come to me.  Instead he insisted on helping Marcus do everything. 

I planned on not cooking because I knew shopping would take up the whole evening.  And guess where Marcus picked to go eat?  Tacos.  So I had another taco salad, minus everything good about it & it was worse than the one I made the night before.  Hunnie how is your salad?  Marcus asked.  Well hunnie, it's not so delicious without the cheese & the sour cream.  Some queso as an appetizer.  And a margarita.  Blehhh, Mexican food is no good on this diet. 

And now...  Watch as Isaiah roams the aisles of Old Navy. 

 Awww....

My Difficult Day with BB

Whenever BB doesn't see us for awhile, he has a very bad attitude.  I don't know if it's just his way of displaying his feelings of confusion & anger about the whole situation or showing that he misses us.  Or maybe he blames us for not coming to see him more often.  I don't know what it is, but it happens every time we go longer than a week without seeing him.  Unfortunately for everyone, that's going to happen all summer long.

For some reason the general custody orders have the summer arranged so that the every Thursday visit disappears.  Marcus & BB's mother have never headed this guideline though because they've always felt like BB shouldn't go a long time without seeing either of them.  Until this year, suddenly she decided to follow that rule.  Of course we didn't know this until we drove an hour to see him, & they weren't there.  When we messaged her & asked where they were, her answer was, is something wrong?

So two weeks have passed since we last saw him.  Last night he went swimming with his dad & brother while I babysat for a friend.  Today Marcus went to run errands near his parents' house, and he left the boys with me. 

Our angry day began when I asked BB to put away the balls he took out earlier.  Isaiah got a bag of 100 plastic balls for his birthday, and every time BB wants to play with them, the deal is that he has to put them all away.  He refused.  But I don't want to.  I reminded him of the deal.  But I don't want to.  I told him that that was fine, but he wouldn't get to play with the iPad if he didn't put them away.  Then he got up & sluggishly began to pick up the balls.  Probably 1 per minute.  Then I gave him a time limit.  When the timer went off, if all the balls weren't put away, then he wouldn't get to play with the iPad for the rest of the day.  He didn't get any faster. 

The timer eventually went off with only about 20 balls in the bag.  So I started putting the balls away.  He stopped.  Then I reminded him that because I was putting the balls away instead of him, that meant no iPad for the rest of the day.  Sulk sulk sulk.  Then it took him about an hour to put on his clothes because he was sulking.  Finally I convinced him that we should get excited about going to look for a present for his daddy & that we could still have a fun day if we all had a good attitude.  

That worked until we got to Dick's Sporting Goods, & the first thing he did was look for a hat for himself.  A shirt that would fit him.  I reminded him that this was a shopping trip for Father's Day so we would be buying things for the fathers not us.  He kept looking for things in the kid's section of the Mav's gear, hoping I would change my mind.  He saw an even bigger kid's section downstairs & asked if we could go down there.  When I said no, he strolled Isaiah to the escalator & started to go down.  I scolded him.  He folded his arms.  But I want to go down there. 

I know BB, but sometimes we don't get what we want.  Today, we're here to get your daddy a present.  Not you.

We went to the golf section, and he ran to the golf bags.  Jewels I want one. 

BB those bags are for golf clubs.  You don't have any golf clubs.

But I want one.

You don't have any clubs to put in it. 

Then he walked to the kids clubs.  Well let's get these then.  Of course I said no.  This time he crawled underneath a golf club display, sat down & put his head in his knees. 

 I tried to explain that our daddy's spend every day of the year taking care of us, buying us things, feeding us, loving us, supporting us & that tomorrow is the one day that we all show them that we are thankful for everything that they do.  So you are going to get up, push your brother around & help me find something that will show your daddy how much we love him. 

He got up, but my speech didn't really work.  Shortly afterwards he crawled back behind some clothes, & I had to tell him that I was going to call his daddy & tell him he needed a spanking when he got home.  That scared him into at least following me instead of crawling into every corner of the store.  I decided on some things, we checked out & left the store. 

On the way home I tried to talk to him about what Jesus teaches about giving & loving one another.  He refused to acknowledge that I was talking.

When we got home, a Lady Gaga song was playing, & he pretended like nothing happened.  We went inside, we chose an animal documentary to watch together, I made him a PB&J, & Isaiah napped. 

When that documentary was over he chose another show.  I said wait we have to decide on one together.  He got really upset again.  But I want to watch Johnny Test!  I repeated that we had to choose something that we would both want to watch.  He started sulking again.  Do you want to choose together or do you want me to choose without you? 

I want to watch Johnny Test.  

Do you want to help me choose? 

No!!! 

So I took the remote away from him & chose something I wanted to watch.  He started throwing things one at a time.  So I told him he needed to go to my room (Isaiah was still asleep in the other) & sit for awhile.  He started crying & screaming no no no, I don't want to!  He wouldn't go on his own so I picked him up & put him on my bed & shut the door. 

He cried for about 20 minutes & then went sleep.

Snowed In

Oh what a crazy week it's been.  In case I forget years from now, it's been crazy because of this huge ice storm that hit us last Tuesday.  Ice, ice, ice, then snow to cover the ice.  Our events were cancelled Tuesday.  Again Wednesday.  Thursday we were up & running.  Friday shut down again.  Saturday as if to make way for the Superbowl, the snow & ice started melting.  Sunday it was nice.  Monday & Tuesday were almost hot.   And now Wednesday everything is back. 

So we've been home a lot.  A few days Marcus was with us. 

We got some pre-packing done, did some work, and managed to save room for lots of resting & playtime.  It was nice to all be lazy together.  Although for some reason (I think I was stressed about money) I wasn't in the best of moods. 

We missed our time with BB on his birthday Wednesday because the roads were too bad. 

Then Marcus went off on Thursday to the event alone and let Isaiah & I stay home, out of the cold.  That evening we tried to go pick up BB for our Thursday time.  Isaiah really hates being bundled up.

But when we were already an hour late, we weren't even halfway there yet because traffic & roads were so bad.  So we turned around. 

We stopped at Best Buy to get BB his birthday present.  That's another post. 

Friday Marcus was working an event.  I was so afraid to drive on the icy snowy roads - I was really born for different weather.  We thought about waiting until Saturday morning to pick him up, but we had already missed two days, I was determined to get him.  So I enlisted the help of Isaiah's godparents, Marcus's best friend & his wifey.  He & his wifey & their dog, Isaiah, & I all went on a journey to pick BB up.  I was sooooo thankful that he helped because the roads were as scary as I imagined.

We got Wingstop & came back to the apartment to watch the Mavs game. 

You can't see the doggy, but BB is so afraid of dogs, even though this one is an itty bitty cute thing.  Isaiah loves loves loves the doggy.  It was a fun night - we need more of them in our lives. 

We tried to take a few pictures of BB, Isaiah & I.  BB said, "This is our half family right?"

Marcus felt sick all day Saturday.  Can you tell?

Poor little BB caught whatever Marcus had the next day.  Thankfully it was after his little birthday party, which I'll talk about another time.

BB loves his little brother. 

Big Brother

We got to pick up Isaiah's big brother (BB) for the first time in 2 months today.  We were in court that morning, and although I wouldn’t necessarily say that we won, we are able to resume our regular visitation schedule, which is the only important part of the outcome.

The pickup was non-eventful & annoying, as I expected.  I audio recorded it just in case anything happened.  BB ran up & hugged me & asked about Isaiah.  He said goodbye to his mom & stepdad.  I only looked his stepdad in the eye to ask him a question about BB’s basketball game & if they had his Nintendo DS.  I barely looked in her direction.  Does that make me a coward or smart enough to avoid confrontation? 

What was eventful?  When we arrived at the park where Marcus was waiting, it was dark & we saw him walking across the sidewalk.  As he approached, BB said, “Let me jump out to see my daddy!”  I rushed to help him out of the car.  He jumped out & ran to Marcus yelling, “Daddy!” the whole way & jumped into his arms.  Tears from me. 

Later we went to try & see Marcus’s nieces perform in a holiday dance.  It was late & outside like some sort of holiday festival.  I was pissed because I had on heels & I had to pee.  I only bitched a little.  We missed the performance. 

But when we arrived, the whole family was standing around in a group.  One by one they ran towards BB & hugged him.  His cousins.  His nana.  His papa.  Even more tears from me.  The holiday music was loud & the lights were bright.  It was a reunion scene from a movie.  I thought to record it halfway through.  Everyone was so happy that I forgot about my sore feet & my full bladder.

Marcus & I are elated, but it’s funny because we both are good at masking emotion.  Or perhaps we’re already trying to work our minds around the next set of battles we have to fight. 

We get to see this again.  BB isn't smiling because Isaiah keeps hitting him in the face.