I'm Ready

The past several months I've been getting a lot of Are you going to have another baby?  A few blogs that I follow got pregnant again.  Many of them already have two kids.  Many of my friends are on number two.  My sister just had her second.  And my little brother is pregnant with his second. 

And well honestly I've been pondering on the question since I had Isaiah. 

The first issue is whether I want another of my own or to adopt another.  I've always wanted to adopt one or be a foster mom.  Plus the pregnancy & the first two months took a long time away from my business, and I wasn't sure I was ready to do that again.  The second issue is when, because of money (We don't have any) & because of my business.  And those are just my issues. 

Almost my entire pregnancy Marcus talked about getting "the snip snip."  No more kids, he adamently claimed, especially not a girl.  Towards the end though, he realized that he wanted a girl one day so she can take care of him.  And now, he seriously talks about having another baby almost every single day.  I told him I hadn't decided whether or not I want another one.  He looked at me with a very somber face & commanded that he would be giving me a girl. 

Something last week triggered a realization in me.  I think it was a scene of a family on tv, I don't remember.  All I know is that the thought of a little family with two kids seems so wonderful to me. 

And yesterday there were more realizations. 

I want to adopt - I won't be ready for that for years.  I feel like that's something I would do later in life, when we are more stable.  And rich. 

I'm worried about being financially prepared - when will we ever be that prepared?  When Isaiah is 5 or 6?  I don't want them to be that far apart.  I cherish with all of my heart the closeness in age that my siblings & I share, and I want my kids to have it too. 

I'm worried about having time for my business - I will always always have that problem.  I'm only planning on growing my business, getting richer, having more businesses & restaurants, so I'm only going to get busier.  I will never slow down enough to have another baby.  Plus the earlier I start my family, the sooner they can become involved in the family businesses.

I'm having a hard time finding time now to do my work, I have no idea where I would find more of it.  But I I've decided that that's a struggle I would like to have now rather than later.  

So no I'm not pregnant (I don't think).  But I don't think we're going to be that worried about stopping it anymore.