My Difficult Day with BB

Whenever BB doesn't see us for awhile, he has a very bad attitude.  I don't know if it's just his way of displaying his feelings of confusion & anger about the whole situation or showing that he misses us.  Or maybe he blames us for not coming to see him more often.  I don't know what it is, but it happens every time we go longer than a week without seeing him.  Unfortunately for everyone, that's going to happen all summer long.

For some reason the general custody orders have the summer arranged so that the every Thursday visit disappears.  Marcus & BB's mother have never headed this guideline though because they've always felt like BB shouldn't go a long time without seeing either of them.  Until this year, suddenly she decided to follow that rule.  Of course we didn't know this until we drove an hour to see him, & they weren't there.  When we messaged her & asked where they were, her answer was, is something wrong?

So two weeks have passed since we last saw him.  Last night he went swimming with his dad & brother while I babysat for a friend.  Today Marcus went to run errands near his parents' house, and he left the boys with me. 

Our angry day began when I asked BB to put away the balls he took out earlier.  Isaiah got a bag of 100 plastic balls for his birthday, and every time BB wants to play with them, the deal is that he has to put them all away.  He refused.  But I don't want to.  I reminded him of the deal.  But I don't want to.  I told him that that was fine, but he wouldn't get to play with the iPad if he didn't put them away.  Then he got up & sluggishly began to pick up the balls.  Probably 1 per minute.  Then I gave him a time limit.  When the timer went off, if all the balls weren't put away, then he wouldn't get to play with the iPad for the rest of the day.  He didn't get any faster. 

The timer eventually went off with only about 20 balls in the bag.  So I started putting the balls away.  He stopped.  Then I reminded him that because I was putting the balls away instead of him, that meant no iPad for the rest of the day.  Sulk sulk sulk.  Then it took him about an hour to put on his clothes because he was sulking.  Finally I convinced him that we should get excited about going to look for a present for his daddy & that we could still have a fun day if we all had a good attitude.  

That worked until we got to Dick's Sporting Goods, & the first thing he did was look for a hat for himself.  A shirt that would fit him.  I reminded him that this was a shopping trip for Father's Day so we would be buying things for the fathers not us.  He kept looking for things in the kid's section of the Mav's gear, hoping I would change my mind.  He saw an even bigger kid's section downstairs & asked if we could go down there.  When I said no, he strolled Isaiah to the escalator & started to go down.  I scolded him.  He folded his arms.  But I want to go down there. 

I know BB, but sometimes we don't get what we want.  Today, we're here to get your daddy a present.  Not you.

We went to the golf section, and he ran to the golf bags.  Jewels I want one. 

BB those bags are for golf clubs.  You don't have any golf clubs.

But I want one.

You don't have any clubs to put in it. 

Then he walked to the kids clubs.  Well let's get these then.  Of course I said no.  This time he crawled underneath a golf club display, sat down & put his head in his knees. 

 I tried to explain that our daddy's spend every day of the year taking care of us, buying us things, feeding us, loving us, supporting us & that tomorrow is the one day that we all show them that we are thankful for everything that they do.  So you are going to get up, push your brother around & help me find something that will show your daddy how much we love him. 

He got up, but my speech didn't really work.  Shortly afterwards he crawled back behind some clothes, & I had to tell him that I was going to call his daddy & tell him he needed a spanking when he got home.  That scared him into at least following me instead of crawling into every corner of the store.  I decided on some things, we checked out & left the store. 

On the way home I tried to talk to him about what Jesus teaches about giving & loving one another.  He refused to acknowledge that I was talking.

When we got home, a Lady Gaga song was playing, & he pretended like nothing happened.  We went inside, we chose an animal documentary to watch together, I made him a PB&J, & Isaiah napped. 

When that documentary was over he chose another show.  I said wait we have to decide on one together.  He got really upset again.  But I want to watch Johnny Test!  I repeated that we had to choose something that we would both want to watch.  He started sulking again.  Do you want to choose together or do you want me to choose without you? 

I want to watch Johnny Test.  

Do you want to help me choose? 

No!!! 

So I took the remote away from him & chose something I wanted to watch.  He started throwing things one at a time.  So I told him he needed to go to my room (Isaiah was still asleep in the other) & sit for awhile.  He started crying & screaming no no no, I don't want to!  He wouldn't go on his own so I picked him up & put him on my bed & shut the door. 

He cried for about 20 minutes & then went sleep.